In Deference to Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a liberal and/or a Democrat, if . . .

1) you HATE President George W. Bush, and cannot accept the obvious legitimacy of his election.

2) you HATE the United States and wish to see her brought down, and less affluent and compassionate nations elevated above her.

3) you HATE our proud fighting troops, putting them in increased danger by subverting the government's effort to find, capture, and punish terrorists.

4) you HATE the quiet and confident speech of the Administration, preferring the desperate screaming rhetoric of the likes of Hillary Clinton, Teddy Kennedy. John Murtha, and Howard Dean.

5) you see the poor only as potential voters, and would only throw money to them, rather than helping them to gain some self-sufficiency and self-respect.

6) you HATE the possibility that your political heroes might not regain control of Congress.

7) you HATE the thought that immigrants - legal and illegal - may not vote Democratic, so you pander to them.

8) you HATE yourself for not feeling guilty enough about how, hundreds of years ago, people who looked like you mistreated Africans, Indians, Mexicans, and anyone else who, today, claims to be downtrodden.

Yet, I have been accused of hatred.