Delicious? Nutritious? Not!

There is no doubt, I'm a fussy eater. I have reached a time in my life when I never again have to eat anything I don't want to. In the past, I have eaten thousands of institutional meals at numerous schools and in the Army, and those which I received at the "facility" were, by far, the least tasty. I ate as much of each as I could without gagging. I will resist the temptation to chronicle some of the awful meals that neither I nor anyone else ate. Suffice it to say, things from cans (primarily fruits and vegetables) were the only foods that were consistently edible. That is, except canned beets and canned spinach, which nobody eats.

Corporate in Albuquerque provides the "recipes," and smiles all the way to the bank.

In memoriam

It is the Chinese Year of the Pig. We have taken in Wilbur, a grossly overgrown pot-bellied pig. He is a horny porker who needs companionship. I have suggested we get him a whore. Too bad Anna Nicole Smith died recently.

We also have horses, and when I see them running with their tails held high, I recall the departure of Molly Ivins.

HAMPTON BAYS, N.Y. (AP)
The partially mummified body of a man dead for more than a year has been found in a chair in front of his television, which WAS STILL ON. . . .