Stalks and Bonds

(As seen on TV)

The real meaning of holidays has been generally forgotten and perverted into an excuse for frivolity and drunkenness. If we all went into the fields on Cesar Chavez Day and helped the farm workers to have a really productive work day, that might be an appropriate celebration.

(As seen on TV)

Barry Bonds should have retired the moment after he tied Babe Ruth's record of 714 home runs. I would have even been OK with his hitting 715, but no more. He missed his chance to show some class.

Extra: The destructive tsunami in the Solomon Islands is all George Bush's fault. After all, didn't we see him on the grassy knoll?