Comic Carmen Lynch still "standing"

"I have a daughter. She lives in Peru. I send what's-her-name $28 a month for food and clothes and stuff. My mother asks me when I'm going to have children, and I say, "What about my daughter in Peru?"

CREATE: Having watched six seasons of "Lost," and now three episodes of "Persons Unknown," I have decided how such television dramas are created. They make it up as they go along, with no real vision of where the story is going. They create some interesting, frequently unbelievable, circumstances, and then, on the way out the door, the head fantasizer says, "Remember to think up some explanations for what just happened in the story, so that later on, we can say, 'See, that's what we meant all along.' I'll write down all your ideas in a big book, and we'll pick out the best ones later in the season. See you next week, and we'll brainstorm some more confusing crap that sounds like it might mean something.

"Oh, by the way, try to humanize the characters. The network loves it when the viewers identify with kinds of people who have never existed."

DISAPPOINTMENT: The downturn in the economy has really caused chaos at the Black Bear Diner. Since our last visit, they have eliminated ALL the generous sides they used to provide. No tasty mac and cheese, no garden veggies (mostly squash), no soup or salad, no scalloped potatoes, no baked beans, not even any bread. The server said, "Corporate decision," for the 40+ locations serving "old-fashioned, home-cooking" in mostly small towns in CA, NV, OR, WA, AZ and CO. So the next time you're in Goodyear, Arizona, wherever that is. . . .