Shark

Last night, in prime time, I wasted another hour watching a hostage drama. An incompetent bailiff allowed a clearly distraught man into the courtroom where the most vicious criminal ever was on trial. Intruding himself into the proceedings, the DM (distraught man) snuck up behind and disarmed the bailiff, who clearly deserved it for his stupidity. Waving the gun about, the DM demanded his conviction, in some other court, be overturned because he was innocent, which it turned out he was.

Moments of tension ensued; the judge was accidentally shot and several hostages cowered about. The drama degenerated into a contest between the MVCE (most vicious criminal ever) and the Prosecutor, a fine actor, for the mind of the DM. Despite the Prosecutor's calm demeanor and feigned interest in the DM's dilemma, the MVCE convinced the DM to unlock his handcuffs.

Then, they were all in trouble. The MVCE demanded a helicopter, but, surprisingly, forgot the several million dollars that usually accompanies that order. When the chopper arrived, the MVCE and the DM strode confidently aboard, and flew off to Brazil where there is no extradition and the sun shines all day. They were last seen sipping Coronas and smoking Cubans in a cabana.

Actually, the story ended exactly as every hostage drama does. Just after the last commercial, the big handsome detective came in the back way (which, apparently, he could have done forty-eight minutes earlier) and shot the MVCE. The DM was arrested, and will only get a slap on the wrist, because, despite his recent pecadillos, he WAS, after all, innocent of the original crime.