One-liners

A local tire company, on TV, is advertising, "All shapes, all sizes." Finally, someplace I can buy some of those elliptical ones.

Jenna Bush, the President's fun-loving daughter is engaged. Engaged in what?

I once lived on an island, accessed only by four bridges and a tunnel, but, foolishly, I never thought of telling my boss I couldn't get to work when one or more of them was closed.

My daughter laughed copiously when I said something I thought I had said hundreds of times before: "[Someone] is as busy as a cat covering it up."

Our puppy ate my TV remote, and now I have to walk over to the set to perform functions. I'm lucky it's old enough to still have a few buttons, but apparently too old to accommodate a new universal remote.