Watch out!

Several days ago, two fifty-foot steel girders, acting as scaffolding, fell on a passing FedEx truck, trapping the driver inside for several hours, but he finally emerged relatively unhurt, and is probably back on his route, delivering cheap Chinese crap all over the county. A workman who was standing atop the structure is recovering from some broken bones he sustained in the fall. A woman who came upon the scene broke both legs when her vehicle struck a construction truck. We have heard nothing about her since. I have learned from a reliable source that she is an undercover CIA agent. Oops.

The daily pamphlet has not followed up on the story of the man who was on a hunger strike, and within a week of death, almost two weeks ago. I have been informed that he also was an undercover CIA agent, and his assignment was to monitor the numerous homeless people who inhabit City Plaza. My bad, again.

In today's daily pamphlet an 'American citizen' opined, "You know why we are having earthquakes? Because our scientists keep sending up space shuttles into the atmosphere, punching holes in the atmosphere and it's causing the earth to shift direction. It's going to keep happening." What kind of person would say such a thing? You guessed it; an undercover CIA agent.

Because of the Bush administration, there are undercover CIA agents behind every tree, spying on you. Isn't it fortunate you haven't done anything wrong?