An old "friend"

A few days ago, I received a postcard from Publishers Clearing House entitled "WARNING Urgent Notice." I had it in my hand when I felt the need to visit the comfort station, so I deposited it into the waste receptacle located therein.

This morning, while I was "waiting," I felt the need for a moment's distraction, so I fished out the document, and read it for its limited entertainment value. The final two sentences yielded, "You've been a good friend of Publishers Clearing House since 5/64. Now you could be just days away from winning."

After 47 years, what do you suppose are my chances of winning? Especially since my family name means, "Those who never win."

It is interesting that PCH has a more comprehensive record of my mailing activities than the FBI. I do remember when I still had fleeting hope, that I sent in some of their solicitations. After all, in 1964, my fourth child was just about to be born, the postage was cheaper than a lottery ticket, and the odds were similar -- none, to a waste of stamps. Over the years, I have even purchased a few things from them, all of which proved to be useless, except for a couple magazines.

Persistent PCH's words earlier in the card -- "Failure to. . . enter in a timely manner may result in immediate forfeiture of funds from this notice." -- are an idle threat. "Those who never win" never win.