Porn

Holier-than-thou activists are after the hotel industry for making porn films available in the rooms. The representative from The Marriott counters with the logical response: "Adult movies [are] an acceptable option because they can be ignored or blocked out by guests not wishing to view them."

That obviously means that no one is forced to watch. But imagine the following scenario at check-in:

CONCIERGE: Welcome, sir. Do you have a reservation?

GUEST: Yes. Foonman's the name.

CONCIERGE: Ah, yes sir. That will be (some outrageous amount of money). And remember we have been intimidated into forbidding smoking.

GUEST: I know. Fortunately, I have raging emphysema.

CONCIERGE: Good. Now, will you be wanting porn in your room?

GUEST: (hesitantly) I don't think so.

CONCIERGE: Perhaps you would like us to hold a gun to your head. That would only be $25 an hour, or any part thereof.

GUEST: That would help. I was thinking of the religious and moral implications of such viewing, but the gun option takes the decision out of my hands. Let me see my film choices.

CONCIERGE: Our gunman will bring a list with him. The charge won't start until the film begins. What time would you like him to be there?

GUEST: (popping a blue pill) Oh, I don't know.

CONCIERGE: Well, call us when you're ready.

GUEST: Thank you.