A PSA

Gentlemen, be advised that if you have not already lavished gifts upon that lady who has been your recent constant companion, or do not plan to put on an outrageous display of your love, any joy that you may have achieved from the relationship will be lost. Flowers, candy and/or an overpriced restaurant feast are recommended. Hallmark Cards and their willing commercial accomplices have created this hell for you, because St. Valentine is long dead and never knew about this faux-holiday bearing his name. Resist at your own risk.

BY THE WAY: If you had watched the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics, viewing those four large phallic symbols in the center of the arena with her, that will not count today, nor will watching young men on motorcycles (which I can see as I write) leaping high in the air in some nonsense called supercross, cure your ED. Of course, if your gifts are not lavish enough, you won't be getting any anyway.