Letter from Burgers R Us

Jerry Foonman, Employee of the Month,
November 2007
Hometown, California

Dear Jerry:

This is to inform you that the State of California has raised the minimum wage by $.50 per hour. You have been doing a fine job cleaning the grease traps and mucking out the toilets, but I don't feel the importance of these chores merits more than a $7.50 per hour investment on my part. Therefore, I will be asking Tom, Brenda and Consuela to work longer and harder without additional compensation to accomplish the tasks you will no longer be doing. You're fired.

Because one or more of the above named persons may quit, citing the poor treatment I have just described, you may want to leave me your current telephone number, and I might call on you, if I can't find an illegal alien to work under the radar. Don't hold your breath. Be assured, however, I will talk glowingly about your limited skills to anyone who asks.

Best of luck in the future. Don't have children; you'll never be able to afford them.

Manager