If I were President

If I were President, I would board Air Force One with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi (if they had the guts to go), as many fully armed Marines as the craft will hold, and one member of the state-run media (i.e. ABC, NBC, CBS, etc.) and his cameraman, and I would fly to Pyongyang. Witness the following scenario:

POTUS: Pyongyang, this is Air Force One; request landing instructions.

PYONG: Access denied; leave North Korean airspace.

POTUS: Excuse me? (Pause) One moment, please.

(On the same frequency, I would contact the aircraft carrier, USS Ronald Reagan in the Sea of Japan.)

POTUS: Captain, how many aircraft armed with nuclear missiles do you have?

CAPT: The Reagan can scramble forty, Mr. President.

POTUS: Pyongyang, did you hear that?

PYONG: (Silence)

POTUS: Pyongyang, request landing instructions.

PYONG: (Gulp) Runway 3 north, weather clear, wind 10 MPH.

POTUS: Thank you, Pyongyang.

(Despite the 35 MPH wind, my party would land and debark, and I would ask. . .)

POTUS: Who's in charge here?

(When someone finally accepts authority, I would say. . .)

POTUS: Please bring the two Americans you are holding to me . . . now.

(While waiting, my cell phone would ring.)

POTUS: Hello dear, we've landed and I'm waiting. I'm fine. . . oh, wait a minute, call waiting. Hello, Captain. OK. Stand down for now. Gotta go, dear, the ladies are here. I'll be home for dinner.

(To the Marines)

POTUS: Would you gentlemen please escort our guests to my personal lounge?

(To the press)

POTUS: Do you have it all on tape?

(They nod. To the North Koreans)

POTUS: Thank you. Please give us takeoff instructions, and this time don't lie about the wind.