The squeaky wheel. . .

In response to my "Letter to the Sacramento Bee," posted here 4/19, I received the following:

"Donald Xxxxxx
X.X. Xxx xxxx
Xxxxxx, Xx xxxx

Dear Donald,

We are happy to announce, due to our partnership with Chico Enterprise-Record, we are able to continue your home delivery service at no additional cost to you.

We value your continued readership and no further action is needed on your part.

Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact our Membership Services department at (800) xxxxxxx.

Sincerely,


Don Schaub
Senior Vice President
Audience Development & Membership Services"


. . . gets the grease. (Don't write us any more letters?)

Road trip

On Saturday, I went to the capitol city and saw "Frost/Nixon," the play, starring Stacy Keach and a younger man with an English accent who did not put me in mind of David Frost. I was also off-put by the portrayal of Nixon's chief of staff, who, for a retired Marine officer, was somewhat shabbily attired. The play waned in the middle, and picked up at the end, but I suspect the movie, at one-sixth the price, is probably more entertaining. However, now I don't have to see it.

I now understand why I wasn't impressed with the original interview -- I don't believe I saw it. The opening line of the play gave me the first clue. It reiterated that Nixon's crime was a "second-rate break-in," and three years later, when Frost wanted to dig it back up, it was for his own aggrandizement and career advancement. I don't know if I understood that at the time, but I believe I decided to forego participation in further Nixon bashing because life had gone on, and the republic was intact.

Today, there are those who want to engage in further George W. Bush bashing for his "crimes," real and fabricated. Although I do not believe the republic is quite as secure as it should be, I won't participate in or condone any actions taken by those whose motives are political and/or purely career enhancing. President Obama is not completely on board, and he would best serve himself and the nation if, in the spirit of the bi-partisanism of which he speaks, he would make it clear that revisiting the past is counterproductive, and primarily a display of petulance which demeans the participants.

Unfair (as published in the E-R 5/3)

Why is it that some people who have been discriminated against or perceived they have, when they protest, are themselves unfairly discriminatory? The latest such group is the burgeoning gay and lesbian coalition. Several months ago, in Sacramento, they coerced the resignation from the California Musical Theatre of a person who had only exercised his constitutional right to contribute financially to an election issue which supported marriage as being between a man and a woman.

Now, the gay and lesbian agenda may have altered the outcome of the Miss USA contest. At the least, an activist interjected the inappropriate question of gay marriage into a beauty contest, and based on the contestant's response, invoked negativity toward the young lady.

Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean, who finished first runner-up, is a student at San Diego Christian College, and her opposition to gay marriage is predictable, but the Constitution insures that her considered response to the question was justified, and not subject to censure. This is the lesson the gays and lesbians have yet to learn.

Feeling Earthy?

It's Earth Day, the day each year we celebrate the earth, which, depending upon whether you follow the religion of science or the religion of God, was created a few thousand or several million years ago. The observance became popular quite recently, since such geniuses as DaVinci, Edison, Benz, Daimler and the Wright brothers invented wonderful ways of using coal and petroleum, the bounties of the earth, to improve our lives.

You might wish to commemorate the occasion by enjoying a long drive, or a flight to some exotic land. If you still receive a newspaper, be sure to protect your eyes by reading it in adequate light, and, oh yes, you might want to plant a tree.

I love trees.

No more worries

All my financial problems are over. A letter from Michael J. Astrue, Social Security Commissioner, informs me that, under the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, I will be receiving a one-time payment of $250 late next month. Now I can have my dream of that large farm where I can run 100 head of dog, and that classic mid-'30s Hispano-Suiza I have been coveting. Thanks to those of you whose increased taxes will fund this largesse.

And now, for something completely different:

Margaret Sanger, the founder of what became Planned Parenthood, in her 1922 book, "The Pivot of Civilization," said, "We want fewer and better children. . . and we cannot make the social life and the world-peace we are determined to make, with the ill-bred, ill-trained swarms of inferior citizens that you inflict on us." And you thought her primary concern was women's reproductive rights, when, in fact, she was just a common garden variety eugenicist.

Following Sanger's example, a Planned Parenthood lawyer, Ron Weddington, in the early 1990s, argued that an abortion pill would help "start immediately to eliminate the barely educated, unhealthy and poor segment of our country." Wasn't that Hitler's goal, too?

Letter to the Sacramento Bee

Dan Schaub
Senior Vice President

Dear Sir:

As I was framing my response to your letter and one from my local carrier, I saw a 1/4 page pictorial in your Sunday issue featuring Mayor Kevin Johnson reading your paper, for which, as the ad copy said, the "audience is growing." Well, it's not growing in the I-5 corridor north of town, where we are now faced with three unsavory alternatives: Pay an outrageous increase in price, read it on the internet, or receive the paper by mail at least a day late, which turns the "news" into the "olds."

I have read a newpaper every day for at least 50 years, and you have decided to attempt to deprive me of that pleasure. Almost invariably, my perusal of the paper has been accompanied by a meal, but I refuse to turn my computer room into a breakfast nook. Fortunately, for the time being, I still receive home delivery of the Chico Enterprise-Record, a smaller but more politically pleasing publication. Let me know when you are truly interested in having me back.

As for your editor, who spends most of her time writing long, rambling articles attempting to justify her existence, you might suggest she do some proofreading instead, as the paper is rife with apologies for its mistakes.

Almost as funny as the news from 100 years ago

"Lost mattress tangles bridge traffic

"Staff reports

"OROVILLE -- A mattress caused MAYHEM on Highway 70 Thursday morning after falling off a trailer pulled by a DODGE RAM pickup.

"At about 10:30 a.m., Fredrick Reno of Greenville was westbound on Highway 70 near the West Branch bridge, when he noticed a mattress he was carrying in a trailer had fallen off.

"The mattress had been secured with rope, but somehow came loose OVER THE COURSE OF RENO'S TRAVELS.

"California Highway Patrol Officer Justin Wallace said Reno noticed several cars swerving to miss the mattress and attempted to make a U-TURN to claim the item from the roadway.

"As Reno completed the U-turn, Adam Thomson. . . who was eastbound in a TOYOTA pickup, struck Reno's vehicle.

"The accident shut down one lane of traffic for more than one hour, and Thomson suffered MINOR injuries as a result of the collision. . .

"The mattress was recovered by Reno and re-secured onto his trailer."


Thank God the mattress is safe, and the paper took all this space away from reporting the real news. (The CAPITALIZATIONS are mine, to point up the silliness.)

Three for TV

Isn't it curious that when the Democrats lied about and disrespected President Bush, the media called it legitimate dissent, but when the people peacefully protest the policies of the Obama administration, the same media call it an attack on government?


We are overtaxed when our money is given to those who don't pay taxes, because they are too lazy to seek employment, and have learned to work the system.


The only lasting change [in the economy] will occur when the people do the spending. That will happen when they have jobs. We must reduce government interference in business to encourage expansion and increase employment.

War!

The Somali pirates have declared war on the United States of America, following the killing of three black, Muslim teen-agers. Did President Obama know who they were when he authorized the action? Is that politically correct?

Credit is due

Thank God for the U.S. Navy, especially Cmdr Frank Castellano of the USS Bainbridge, who rescued Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama, and inflicted an appropriate punishment on the pirates who had kidnapped him. The part of the story involving President Obama's direct participation in the event is unclear, but he didn't deter it, so he deserves credit for allowing the U.S. to maintain its dominant status in the world.

This is a good example of the government's main responsibility -- protecting its citizens from criminals, foreign and domestic. Thank you, President Obama; you can be proud to be an American, this time.

Shut up (as published 4/12)

In Strasbourg, France, on Friday, President Obama said, "In America, there's a failure to appreciate Europe's leading role in the world. Instead of celebrating your dynamic union and seeking to partner with you to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive."

THAT STATEMENT DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME.

America is the greatest, richest, most powerful, most compassionate country in the world. Our military, and billions of our dollars have bailed out at least half of all the other countries over the years, and the boob we elected apologizes. For what? That man is a travesty.

Travel advisory

For your planned Easter trip to Sjerezo, Molvania, "Jetlag Travel Guide," The Outlook Press, Woodstock & New York, 2004, recommends:

"Driving to Sjerezo is not generally advisable. . . There is a regular service to Anton Jchuvski Airport -- named after Sjerezo's highly-decorated World War I ace (1897-1922) who single-handedly shot down 18 planes, six of them belonging to the enemy. . . Domestic flights land at Terminal B, international flights at C and E. . . [Be advised] Terminal B is reserved for those traveling with livestock."

Two accommodations are not recommended: "In a previous edition. . . Hotjl Jakvekz was mistakenly described. . . as 'appealing.' It is, in fact, 'appalling.'" Also, the Pensjon Prazakuv "from the outside. . . looks like a seedy, dilapidated relic desperately in need of a clean. It is." Stay at the Kostol Vjardi. "The rooms here are spacious with high ceilings and many of the staff are friendly, whilst others speak English, but sadly, not both.

"Vorgzjen Marj is a fetching neo-classical building. . . with dark, high-back benches in the front and cosy elegant sofas and chairs upstairs, making it a perfect place to settle back and enjoy a sumptuous feast. Unfortunately, you can't because it's a furniture shop. There is, however, a soup kitchen next door that does a good broth. [We suggest] Erdjesz, a friendly, light-filled bistro popular with residents and tourists alike. The food is typically Molvanian -- heavy, hearty and laden with unidentifiable brown bits."

Jojousz Paszkwaj

Bad endings

Ted Stevens served honorably as a Senator from Alaska for 40 years. In 2008, some politicians didn't want him to be re-elected, and after a witch-hunt, the Justice Department convicted him of corruption, and he lost the election. Mission accomplished. . . through prosecutorial misconduct. Oops, now they're sorry?


I was sorely disappointed by the final episode of "Life on Mars." We had been warned by TV Guide that it would be something different from the original British series, in which the hero eventually awoke from a coma after being hit by a car. Faced with cancellation by the Great God Nielsen, the new writers hastily devised a Wizard of Oz type ending that was a poorly conceived and thoroughly unsatisfying cop-out (play on words intended).

Obama exuding American power and pride in London

April fool!