Fairness

We have officially struck political rock-bottom. After what seems an interminable period of short commercials, Barack Obama, the socialist candidate, has been allowed to purchase a full half-hour of TV time on several networks. Unprecedented, yes, but does it fall under the "doctrine of fairness" that the Democrats are so fond of touting? Will John McCain be given his thirty prime-time minutes, whether he can afford them or not?

Three speak

With the Proposition 8 (gay marriage) argument raging in California, three letters to the editor of the pamphlet make various assertions. The first words are from Steve Scarborough, who said, "Today, marriage is [simply] an agreement of equal partners to forge a union in accordance with the rights and responsibilities prescribed by law." But marriage is much more than that.

As Ida Hammons said, "For thousands of years, marriage has been a form of religious worship wherein a man and a woman were joined in a three-way union with God in order to 'multiply and replenish the earth' and create a family unit." This is much closer to reality.

When children are born, they are gifts from God, but as Dale Rasmussen said, "Marriage [is not] a 'license' to procreate. . . In fact, those people with the most egregious lack of life skills show an amazing ability to procreate. . . [and] what we need are stable, loving families. . . ."

How can government improve on that?

Pray

I understand "The Jeffersons" syndrome, a symptom of which may cause black people to vote for Obama "to get a piece of the pie," but I am dumbfounded that anyone else would vote for him. For weeks now, I have chronicled his many shortcomings and dangerous beliefs, which I will not repeat here, because if I haven't made my point yet, it's probably too late. If he's elected, I fear it may be too late for America as well. Pray.

Use a pencil or dark ink pen

I have voted. My write-in ballot is in the mail. I believe I have voted in every election since 1955. How I managed that at age seven, I can't imagine.

Seriously, I always vote for two basic reasons. It forces me to become informed on the issues, and it gives me permission, later, to criticize those who aren't doing the job I expected them (or they foolishly promised) to do.

I have a great idea, though. Because my Presidential vote is wasted in California, where they're still punishing us all for Nixon, I propose we be allowed to vote for President by mail in the state of our choice. For instance, my vote in Pennsylvania might just put my candidate over the top, and those 21 electoral votes in his column. Or maybe, Florida, which has 27 electoral votes. Texas (34) and New York (31) are the other biggies, but they are more Obaminized, and my vote might not help.

Joe the Plumber for Secretary of the Treasury

It's a sad day for our family. No tragedy, but Mervyn's is going out of business. Founded in 1949 in San Lorenzo by Mervin Morris, the chain of department stores grew to 149, almost all in California. They have become a California institution, selling clothes, housewares, cosmetics and jewelry in a family atmosphere.

I spent most of my teaching career in San Lorenzo, and all my children were outfitted with Mervyn's clothing. Our school district benefitted from Mervin's largess, and we have fond memories of shopping in his stores. They will be missed.

EXTRA: In one of my book club catalogs, there's a quote from David Foster Wallace, humorist and author of "Infinite Jest." He said, "The word 'utilize' is a 'puffword' that makes the speaker seem either like a pompous twit or someone so insecure that he'll use pointlessly big words in an attempt to look smart." Because I utilized the word recently in my post P C V, his comment drew my attention, and I would give it serious thought if he hadn't hanged himself last week.

P C VI

TV's "Life on Mars" is a guilty pleasure for all of us who eschew political correctness. It's a police drama set six years after Miranda and the establishment of the NOW, so it's completely and humorously unrealistic, because in 1973 the police wouldn't have conducted warrantless searches, "tuned up" suspects, or nicknamed a (cute) female police officer No-Nuts.

And after 69-year-old Harvey Keitel picked a fight with his own officer (our hero), that same Adonis went home to encounter a nude nymphet in the hall of his seedy hotel, heading to the community bathroom. Unlikely, possibly offensive, fun? You bet! If you allow yourself to be easily offended, watch something else.

Faith

The world runs primarily on faith. Religion is 100% faith. Science is about 95% faith. Because half of all marriages end in divorce, they're based 50% on faith. Because one of every three drivers could be drunk, and many more are inattentive for a number of reasons, it's a leap of faith to go out onto the road.

When first born went out yesterday and bought 800 shares of GM, that decision was based on her faith in American business, and the knowledge that cars will never be replaced by bicycles. Before the recent troubles, GM was selling at about ten times what it's worth today. I lack the faith that I will live to see that time again, so I'm not investing.

With the upcoming presidential election, we have to ask ourselves how much change is needed, and in which candidate we wish to place our faith to effect it. I hope that my faith is not misplaced in you, and that you will reject the man who told a hard-working plumber that the government might take some of his earnings away from him and give them to others to "spread the wealth around."

FYI: "Kath and Kim" episode two wasn't much better.

P C V(elocipede)

When I was a child, I had a bicycle. I rode it to high school, about a mile away, a few times. Then, I decided to walk instead, because I considered the bicycle a toy, not a means of transportation. I still do. If my destination is not within walking distance, I utilize four-wheeled motorized transport.

With the advent of the religion of global warming, a growing number of people are feeling good about themselves by riding bicycles. Unfortunately, frequently the warm impulses translate into superiority, and they ignore the laws and impede the smooth flow of traffic. They might be advised to watch out when they see me coming.

Review

The fans of reality TV will not be watching "My Own Worst Enemy," because it portrays an alternate reality. In addition, it's confusing, even to the college grads at our house. The concept is interesting, but the execution, so far, has been somewhat incomprehensible.

There was one good line. As the main character, in his spy personna, was escaping from the unspecified Slavic enemies, accompanied by his work associate, in his spy personna, the associate entombed him under the floorboard of a truck. Our hero asked,"What if something happens to you?" The response was, "You'll suffocate and die; it will be agonizing." Funny, but, as you can see from this snippet, rather non sequiturish. I may try it one more time. . . or not.

P C OFFENSE: Cute Bonnie Hunt, on her new daytime talk show, referred to a headband as a "Polish facelift." I remain unoffended. She's Irish.

As if anybody cares

I have no cable or satellite TV service, and, as I have repeated ad nauseum, no P BS. So how do I manage to watch so much prime time TV? After all, there are a goodly number of "pocular"(my favorite 8th grade students' spelling test misspelling) shows that I don't watch, and never have. In "agrabethical" order, they are:

1. All prime time quiz and reality shows (except "Last Comic Standing.")
2. Bad new shows, such as "The Ex-List," "Knight Rider," and "Worst Week."
3. "Brothers and Sisters," 4. "ER," 5. Fox animated shows, 6. "Ghost Whisperer," 7. "Grey's Anatomy," 8. "Heroes," 9. "House," 10. "The Office," 11. "Private Practice," 12. "24," and 13."Ugly Betty."

Even so, some evenings there are, during certain time segments, as many as three shows that first born and I wish to see, and, with our antiquated equipment, each of us must create VCR tapes for later viewing. What a life.

FYI: (First born does watch #6, 12 and 13.) "My Own Worst Enemy" starts tonight. We'll see.
"Kath and Kim" episode one was bad.

UPDATE: First born has a local client who bought a convertor box, and she still can't receive P BS. I remain confused.

Wide awake

Last night, I went to the capitol city and saw the thoroughly charming "The Drowsy Chaperone." Coming out of Canada, it garnered six Tonys in 2006, but is still generally unknown. I enjoyed it, and I laughed frequently, and, apparently, loudly, somewhat to the chagrin of my companion. I make no apology for appreciating clever lyrics, even those which may not be politically correct. You have to take your entertainment where you find it, and I haven't reached this advanced stage in life by giving a damn what other people might think. Double entendre is double entendre, and one should allow oneself to be offended only by the lack of an understanding of it.


EXTRA: Why is telling the truth about a politician called an attack? Barack Obama acknowledges an unapologetic association with the Rev. Wright and Bill Ayres, a racist and a terrorist. The truth is, most of us don't want our President to associate with such people. They're the kind of men my mother would have advised me to avoid, and I never considered her counsel an attack.

. . . selected short subjects

Four recent submissions to TV are on the topics of the bailout (used), the mortgage bailout (used), censorship, and recovery [used].


What the bailout looks like is that some crooks snookered some of us out of our money, and now the government wants to give the same crooks some more of everybody's money.


I suppose if I could determine how much each house is worth and which owners deserved to be bailed out, I might just think it's a good idea. But to let the government make those decisions? I don't think so.


Because many people believe that homosexuality is a religious issue. discussion of it has no place in a public school classroom. Library books on the topic should [not be removed, but,] be available to parents only, so that they may instruct their children themselves in the manner they consider appropriate.


[The greatest country the world has ever known will rebound, and it will be quicker if we elect the McCain-Palin ticket], and others who will reverse the direction toward immorality and socialism upon which the Democrats are embarked.

"Future of flagship mission to Mars still up in the air"

That's the cutesy headline of an AP story bemoaning that the price of this Mars nonsense has incurred a 30% cost overrun. Surprise! That's $1.5 billion already wasted to learn there's ice, oops, there isn't ice on Mars.

A whole bunch of "scientists" may have to get real jobs, if they can't keep pretending we have a rover on the red planet, and it's almost human. Here's what some are saying:

"Some scientists outside the Mars research community said canceling the project does not make sense since so much money has already been invested."

Isn't that the definition of throwing good money after bad?

"'We've got to continue our exploration of Mars, but in a way that's rational and sensible,' said Frances Bagenal of the University of Colorado, Boulder."

Frances, didn't your mean "begin?" You really want that job with NASA, don't you, because your college position doesn't have real "scientist" perks?

And Congress keeps wondering how to balance the budget. A billion there, and a billion-and-a-half here, and pretty soon you have real money.

Warning

I call your attention to King Features' columnist Maria Elena Salinas, a former info-babe (yes, she's attractive) for Telemundo or Univision (I'm too lazy to research which), who is an outrageous apologist for illegal aliens. A couple of weeks ago, she intruded into my world when she referred to the illegals who were arrested at an Iowa meat-processing plant as "victims." Criminals are not victims, except, in this case, possibly, victims of the governments of their countries of origin, who have failed to provide them with the appropriate economic opportunities.

Yesterday, while discussing the present economic downturn, she quoted a study which said, "Some 52 percent of working-age Latinos in the United States are immigrants." What does that mean? Are these legal or illegal immigrants, or a mixture of the two? As far as that goes, aren't we all immigrants, first or second generation? In addition, when the ice that covered North America as far south as the Grand Canyon receded, who became the "indigenous people?" Wouldn't that have been Indians from the south, Scandinavians from the east, and those who crossed over the land bridge from Asia? All immigrants?

Then again, Salinas raised my hackles with the statement, "[The immigrants'] dire [financial] situation is also reflected in the money they send back home to their families." People who emigrate to the United States in the proper, legal fashion bring their families with them, and make our country their new home. People who have made no commitment, and only desire to extract money from our country purely for the benefit of others in other countries are not those whom our immigration policy intends to attract.

Credo

As a matter of faith, I believe that life begins at conception.

FURTHER

I believe that persons should have sex only after they fully understand that sexual intercourse can result in conception, and that there are methods to prevent it.

I believe that if conception occurs, it is immoral to fail to accept responsibility for the new life.

With the exception of the crime of rape, all women have always had the right and ability to prevent conception. Abstinence is 100% effective, and all heterosexual couples are advised that pregnancy should occur only as a result of love and the genuine desire to have a child. I believe that if abortion is selected by a woman who has been promiscuous, it is her moral weakness.

HOWEVER

So long as abortion is legal, I believe that no one has the right to deny any woman the procedure, as a benefit of freedom; and, in fact, although, on occasion, it panders to immorality, I would not support repealing Roe vs Wade.

Amendment

Proposition 8 on the California ballot says, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." If passed, that simple sentence would be added to the California Constitution. My letter to the editor follows:



When my wife and I were married in September, 19__, we didn't give a moment's thought to what tax consequences that might bring. In fact, in March of the following year, I was surprised to see how the act of filing my taxes had changed. We had been married by an Army chaplain, who only spoke of God's blessing, and that seemed to be reward enough. After all, marriage is a religious concept.

When we conceived and delivered our children, we never gave another thought to any financial advantage that they might afford us. Again, I dutifully followed the 1040 instructions without giving much thought to how the government had insinuated itself into my life.

With the advent of gay marriage in California, I find myself trying to remember when and why the government got involved in the religious institution of marriage. Obviously, it's all about power and money, and it apparently occurred at a time, much like today, when we began to lose some of our freedom.

We have to start with the upcoming proposed constitutional amendment, to tell the government how we feel. Please join me in leaving the Proposition 8 section on the ballot blank, because who marries whom is none of my business, your business, and definitely shouldn't be the business of government.

. . . vamping

If you play the lottery thinking you'll get rich, if you signed up for an unrealistic mortgage, if you think you're never too drunk to drive, if you enjoy being scared by horror movies, and if you believe in Santa Claus, then you're a perfect Barack Obama voter.