For TV

When they published my following submission to TV, the anchor called it sarcasm: " I plan to buy many gifts, costing more than I can afford, in a greater number than last year. With the country heading down the drain politically, and religion taking a beating, there may not even be a Christmas next year."

My response, hopefully to be seen on Monday, is: "I was serious about spending more this Christmas. That's patriotic. And I'm adding extra to my regular donations, because that's charitable."

Also seen on TV was: "[As has always been true since the onset of the Roosevelt entitlement program,] we should identify those capable of working, stop encouraging their indolence, and teach them self -sufficiency by taking them off the welfare rolls."

Not seen: "[Black] Friday is just another day, unless you enjoy heavy traffic, serious jostling, and a few bargains, which will probably last until Christmas."

How prophetic was that last one? One man was "seriously jostled" in a New York Walmart. They must have had bargains "to die for."

The next day [expanded 11/30]

At no time on the holiday did I hear the dreaded words (as chronicled by Bonnie Hunt), "What's that supposed to mean?"

OF COURSE IT'S OFFENSIVE: Parents, in order of effectiveness:
1. Mother and father
2. Single mother
3. Single father
4. Wolves
5. Lesbian couple
6. Gay couple
7. Single gay man or lesbian.
[8. The State
9. Britney Spears]

Being offensive is funny sometimes. Try not to let yourself be offended.

Bailout

I have decided to sit on my ass, and wait until I get bailed out. After all, people with the means will support those of us with the need. It's only good Marxism. However, I hope I will not have to fill out a 63 item questionnaire, especially if there are "essay" questions.

I know I could subsist on an additional $1,000 per month, but a lot more would be better. Then, I could get back on beer and cigarettes, which I foolishly gave up for food and medicine.

FAMILY: My birthday card to Zoe, containing a gift equivalent to the first month of my bailout, was returned as "undeliverable." I wonder if she knows or cares I exist.

Reviews

As I was watching a finely crafted episode of "Life on Mars" last night, I decided the series was the best new drama of the season. Sam, No-Nuts, and the boys are very entertaining. Revelations were made that moved the plot ahead and piqued our interest. Suddenly, disappointment descended. "Life on Mars" won't be back again until January 28.

What if it never comes back? What if it goes the way of "Invasion" and "Jericho?" What will I do for my Harvey Keitel fix. . . my gruff captain with the heart of gold? I may not see my naked nymphet again. And what about those 70s muscle cars, and the inappropriate references to new millenium pop culture? Don't let them go away.

By the way, it's official -- "Kath and Kim" is (and are) dreadful. These are people whom, you pray, will never invade your life. The dog, however, named Ginger, resembles my own dear departed pet of the same name, but her role is too small considering she's the cast member with the most talent.

In general, the sitcoms this year are disappointing. Except for "The Big Bang Theory," which is inspired genius, the rest are gradually losing their impetus and growing wearisome. "Two and a Half Men" is, of course, pure smut, and you can't help but laugh, but please don't do it in front of the children, because what Charlie does is sin by anybody's definition.

RECAP: It turns out Bonnie Hunt is half Polish, so her reference to a headband being a Polish facelift is acceptable, because, as we all know, it can't possibly be racist if people insult those of their own race -- like black people calling each other niggers. (For Donalbain: That's sarcasm.)

Science

All I know about science is what I read in the newspaper, and you know what I think of the AP. Today, AP told me the space station is 220 miles high. Traveling at the speed of the escape velocity, we could be there in about 31 seconds. Well, I don't believe AP told me that happened. They did tell me, the other day, that NASA has developed a fuel which can propel the shuttle 3,000 MPH. That means we could get to the space station in about 4.4 minutes. Do you remember that happening? (On land, I can drive 220 miles in about four hours, and, of course, with no obstructions and at a steady 75 MPH, I could do it in about three.)

The NASA scriptwriters had a short break after the Mars scenario, because now they have concocted a charming space station story. The star is Heidemarie Stephanyshyn-Piper, a creative character name for the fiction. She dropped her tool bag, silly girl, and it floated off into space. She and her fellow spacewalker, Stephen Bowen (a boring name) earlier had allegedly watched a screw float by, and Heidemarie innocently observed, "I have no idea where it came from." Not to be concerned, however, it's just a story.

Tit for tat (Fairness IV)

As a result of the recent election, I now live in a state where organized groups of gays and lesbians are encouraging boycotts of businesses who employ anyone who supported Proposition 8, which established that marriage is between a man and a woman. This is, of course, a massive

display of intolerance.

In retaliation, and in emulation of this example, I suggest that those majority voters who are now potential victims could, upon entering each retail establishment which purveys goods and services they need, loudly ask, "Are there any gays or lesbians working here?" If the answer is "No," they could elect to patronize. If the answer is "Yes," they should loudly ask to speak to the manager. When he/she appears, in a polite voice, the former customers should say, "I don't support establishments which hire persons who exhibit discrimination against others who are only exercising their constitutional rights." Then walk out.

You say, the gays and lesbians at some businesses are not involved in the boycott? Well, millions of voters who voted "Yes" (or not at all), are being painted with the same broad brush by unthinking activists. Retaliation is an equal opportunity torment. Could this be another legacy of Obamination?

Triptych

1. The world of theatre is not the private domain of gays and lesbians. There are a vast number of talented heterosexual performers, some of whom should be hired by the California Musical Theatre to replace those who inflicted their discrimination upon Scott Eckern. Where is the ACLU when you need them?

2. Isn't it cute how Obama thinks he's already President? Who's pulling his strings and telling him what to think? We know that teleprompters tell him what to say, but who are those mediocre Clintonistas gathering around him? Could he actually be considering Billary for Secretary of State? And you didn't think things could get worse. . . .

3. I was thinking. . . If I had proof that space travel was just a big hoax, how rich I could be. I'd settle for $475 million, the amount they wasted on the Mars project, as a bribe to shut me up.

Discrimination

Scott Eckern, the artistic director of the California Musical Theatre, who had contributed $1,000 to help California to declare that marriage should be between a man and a woman, has resigned. Bowing to pressure from gays and lesbians, the directors of CMT, a non-profit organization, have cravenly accepted his resignation. He has done nothing wrong, and has asserted the same.

We shall now see whether there is truly equality for all in America. There are surely federal guidelines governing non-profits, which include non-discrimination, and every private citizen is free to express his reasoned opinion without fear of retribution.

I will not attend another CMT production until Eckern is reinstated, and/or receives an abject apology for having been discriminated against.

Back to the drawing board

After $475 million and five months of the Phoenix fictional Mars mission, NASA has told its script writers to take a break. Project manager, Barry Goldstein, is now working on a new scenario, possibly starring Keanu Reeves as the dashing spaceman.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a cellar at Harvard, other "scientists" are still working on an explanation of the escape velocity, and how it can be made to look possible. Some of them secretly hope that Angelina Jolie will join the cast of the new production.

Think of how many people could have been fed, or how much medicine could have been dispensed for $475 million.

FYI: Be advised that some of us move more slowly now, and when you ring our doorbell, it may take us a while to get there. I know it seems like an eternity, but it's only a minute or a minute and a half. Wait. . . I'm coming.

Fairness III

Marcus Crowder of the Sacramento Bee reports, "Gay and lesbian artists called Monday for an artistic and audience boycott of California Musical Theatre after learning that its artistic director donated $1,000 to a campaign that backed banning gay marriage in California."

The fate of Scott Eckern, a 25-year employee who is also chief operating officer, is unknown at this time. What is known is that the principle of fairness has been severely compromised. Some of the same people who claim that the constitutional amendment affirming that marriage should only be between a man and a woman is unfair to them, would seek to deny an individual his right to contribute financially to whatever legitimate cause he supports.

Parenthetically, it also seems foohardy to disrupt show production, discourage audiences from attending, and incur personal financial hardship for this display of petulance; and I find it hard to believe that any responsible organization would suspend operations or punish an employee on this basis.

God bless America

I want you to have the best holiday ever. It may be your last. The two big days celebrate America and Jesus, and we have elected a President who, for twenty years, attended a church where the pastor's message was, "God damn America."

I don't know about you, but I remember everything I learned at my mother's knee and from the priest at church. I remember sin. I learned not to take the Lord's name in vain, and I know that Christmas honors Jesus, and Thanksgiving is a tribute to freedom.

Along the way, religion and America have had their problems, but those who, today, would summarily destroy them, are my enemies. If we want to enjoy another holiday season, confidence in America and respect for morality must be restored. We have to show President Obama that his pastor is wrong.

Off and running

Have you noticed that, so far, the Mighty Obama has appointed a chief-of-staff and several financial advisors, none of whom are black? No one has got "a piece of the pie" yet, although he could have tapped Thomas Sowell and/or Walter Williams, two prominent black financial experts.

Of course, it should be expected. JFK didn't load up on Catholics, Ronald Reagan didn't ask actors for help, Jimmy Carter avoided rabid bunnies and peanut farmers, and Slick Willie didn't bring any other lechers into his administration. First, you get the power; then, you build the legacy; then comes the money. The people? What people?

A good idea

A three-sentence letter to the editor of the Sacramento Bee said,

"This whole controversy of gay vs. straight marriage would go away if the state of California quit recognizing marriage altogether. If a couple wants the rights, responsibilities and financial benefits now afforded traditional marriage, they would be required to register as domestic partners. If they wanted both, they could also have a separate religious ceremony." -- Tim McVey, West Sacramento

Shopping

It is 12:53 pm, Thursday, November 6, and I have just seen the first Wal-Mart Christmas TV ad of the season. Of course, I haven't set foot in one of their stores for about 15 years, and I don't intend to, until they run everyone else out of business, or I die -- whichever comes first. (Actually, I suppose when I die, my needs will be severely diminished.)

Good times for Wal-Mart are rapidly approaching. In this fluctuating market, other stores are closing everywhere. All they have to do is hunker down, and wait for the time when Obama socialism will declare them to be the State Store, and through skillful negotiation they will set the price of your life. Government officials who are paid $200,000 per year, together with the company owned by several of the richest people in the world, will tell us what we can have and how much we will pay for it. It will be called the Obamination of America.

Fairness II

Senator Chuck ("Paul Joseph Goebbels") Shumer (D-NY) has characterized constitutionally protected free speech as "pornography." If that didn't have Nazi overtones, I would say that Chuck is just plain scared of the free exchange of ideas. With the election of Obama, the push will be on to reinstate the discredited "fairness doctrine," which is merely an attempt to silence all radio talk with which liberals disagree. Be advised that past attempts to compete have been met with indifference, sponsorship defections and financial bankruptcy, to add to the paucity of cogent thought.

With the majority of the mainstream media in the tank for the liberals, there is no lack of anti-conservative propaganda out there. The beginning of one AP headline yesterday illustrates the point -- "Palin Loses. . . ." In all my years of reading post-election coverage, I have seen many "So-and-So Wins" articles, but never petty, mean, vindictive words taunting the loser. Will this be the legacy of Obamination?

Congratulations

Did you notice, it's now
Ok to mention that our
New President is a member of
The black race?

Let's all greet the Obama, son of Ken-
Ya, but
Naturally born in Hawaii. A
Chicago politician, who
Has been elected President.

He's happy
I'm not, but I'm
Moving on, or out.

Joe Biden,
Unhappily not as pretty as
Sarah Palin,
Takes up as Vice President.

Pretend they're
Ready,
And give a rat's ass about
You.

Miserere nobis

This will be my last post until at least Wednesday, because I will be busy praying. Each day, as always, I will be thanking God for President George W. Bush, who has kept us safe in our homes. Then, I will pray that the voters reject the least qualified Presidential candidate since 1948, when there were three Socialists and a segregationist.

I realize that God has never granted me anything I requested for myself; so, for years, I have only asked for boons for others. For the next few days, I will be praying that our nation will be spared the pain that an Obama administration would bring. I invite you to join me.