Goode

As a rule, I seldom watch cartoons, even though "The Simpsons" can occasionally be clever, and "Family Guy," the few times I've seen it, has entertained me with its rude humor. Now, last night, I previewed "The Goode Family," and laughed aloud frequently. I am looking forward to the next episode, its cartoon format notwithstanding.

I should warn the holier-than-thou that the program skewers that nonsense called political correctness, and you may wish to allow yourself to be offended. The star of the first episode was the family dog, a carnivorous animal, which the family foolishly believes is vegan, as they are; so the beast is reduced to surreptitiously hunting and consuming other neighborhood pets. Remember: It's only a cartoon, and no animals were killed or injured during its filming.

A bad choice

[President Obama has nominated Sonia Sotomayor, an Hispanic woman, to the United States Supreme Court. Being Hispanic, and being a woman are not the two most important qualifications for the job. Understanding the Constitution, and upholding it are.] [As seen on TV.]

The one word in President Obama's description of Ms Sotomayor that disturbed me the most was "compassionate." There is no room for emotion in the decisions of the Supreme Court. They are charged only with evaluating the issues presented to them to decide whether or not they are Constitutional. The Constitution means exactly what it says, and is only a "living document" iosofar as it may be amended by the Congress with the consent of the governed. Therefore, the only question anyone should ask Ms Sotomayor or any other Justice is, "Do you understand the Constitution, and will you uphold it?" How she feels about it is irrelevant.

EXTRA: How comforting it is to know that if I contract diabetes, I can now get monitoring meters from Bayer in five, count 'em, five designer colors. Whoopee.

Another victim of the banking scandal

The following story is sketchy, but I will tell you what I heard. It involves a loved one and the bank created by the merger of Washington Mutual and JPMorgan Chase Banks. The young man in question had been in the habit of swiping his WaMu debit card to purchase small lunches and snacks. . . a coffee here, a sandwich there. . . enjoying the 30% discount his employment afforded. He had been, admittedly, remiss in assuring that his checking account was appropriately replenished, and over the course of a week or two, he overdrew about $20.

Let me pause here to interject how I believe much of the problem could have been avoided. Because these were electronic transactions, the bank could have, on the occasion of the very first overage, simply sent the message, "access denied," and he would have been alerted. Instead, he was allowed to remain in ignorance, because the bank didn't give a damn.

Unfortunately, they really do give a damn, however; they want to zing you at every opportunity. What was his punishment to be? His accumulated overdraft fee was $900. The recommended telephone call drew a reduction of the damage to $300. That's $300 for a $20 overdraft! Step two -- his threat to close the account -- elicited the unexpectedly uncharacteristic promise to reinstate the $900 ransom, so he gave them their 300 pounds of flesh, and has since, closed the account. He's only nineteen years old, but he'll never forget. He's a member of my family.

UPDATE: The visit to the bank brought an apology and a remission of the entire fee. He probably should have been charged some nominal amount ($35) to encourage him to be more careful in the future. He had, however, already obtained another account, so he got off scot-free.


FYI: As predicted, the first five propositions failed by an average 63-37% margin. [The sixth one passed by 3-1 because California is a blue state, and there is a growing Democrat tradition of punishing selected segments of society, such as smokers, social drinkers, rich people, those with strongly-held religious beliefs, conservative talk-show hosts, and now, lawmakers.] [As seen on TV.]

Vote early. . . vote often

Today is election day in the Golden State. The Governor and the Legislature, having twice been unable to pass a viable budget, have presented the voters with six propositions, hoping they will do what the lawmakers lacked the guts to do. The propositions, a popular, frequently unenforced system of pretending the people run the State, are chock-full of increased taxes and other foolishness, and are predicted to fail.

I have already voted "no" via mail, despite the Governor's attempt to blackmail me by threatening to decimate State fire and police departments, and the schools. Actually, the sixth proposition would prevent lawmakers from getting pay raises when the State is running a deficit. It may pass, but when you think about it, as I did when voting "no," the less you pay lawmakers, the less likely competent people will want the job. With an actor in charge, it would be nice to have someone in Sacramento who is qualified to tell him what to do.

Results tomorrow. . . or when they're available. After all, Minnesota still only has one Senator, and AlGore will never accept that he lost in 2000.

There's no one who doesn't enjoy a fine beverage

I am addicted to cans of diet, caffeine-free cola, preferably Pepsi. Lately, the 8-pack has been introduced, turning the pricing structure into a giant sixth-grade arithmetic problem. The end product is the unit price, so one must calculate how multiples of 12-pack or 8-pack units compare to the 24-pack (cube), vis-a-vis the price per can. That, in addition to the stores who hire people to change the prices weekly, seemingly to confuse the consumers, and test their patience.

Etymology

The word "disgruntled" first appeared in the English language in 1682, but it was 1926 before W. P. Webb used the word "gruntled" (with the opposite meaning), and it appeared in the lexicon. Therefore, when "Better Off Ted's" company, Veridian Dynamics, described its employees as gruntled, it was an accurate application of the word. Who knew?


BY THE WAY: "The Big Bang Theory" is still the only don't-miss sitcom, but "Better Off Ted" and "Parks and Recreation" have their moments.

. . . while watching TV (quality questionable)

Earlier than expected, I have received my insultingly small $250 check from Uncle Barack. It will not change my life. (The last Hispano-Suiza sold at auction drew a bid of six figures.)

I would send it back if I didn't think that would interfere with my Social Security and Medicare. Although I am somewhat conflicted about receiving more pension money than I paid in, I do pay premiums for my Medicare, and I need health insurance. Although my $100 per month doesn't begin to reimburse the actual (inflated) cost of my medical care to date, as an American I accept my responsibility to do my utmost to guard my health and minimize my drain on the system.

As I write, Neel Kashkari, former Assistant Treasury Secretary, is on Charlie Rose, and he says I should spend my $250 to stimulate the economy. What should I buy that I don't need or have, so far, been able to live without?

More science silliness

Although President Obama says he's strugglng with seven or more serious national problems, ten scientists have been opining on the following [with my snarky comments added]:

"Study suggests WOLVERINE in Sierra most likely from Idaho [Heaven forbid he should sneak over the mountainous border into Montana or Wyoming. Wait, is it a he-rine or a she-rine?]

"TRUCKEE (AP) -- A wolverine spotted two straight winters in the northern Sierra Nevada [How can we be sure it's the same one?] most likely [Most likely? How likely? Read on.] came from Idaho, according to the study.

"The findings of 10 federal, state and university scientists, published in the latest edition of Northwest Science, show the predator is most closely related to the Rocky Mountain population. Researchers said the results show a 73 percent confidence level [I guess it wasn't the usual scientific consensus vote, otherwise, that would mean 7.3 of the scientists agreed. What does three-tenths of a scientist look like?] in the conclusion the animal most likely [Yawn] came from Idaho.

"By comparison, the wolverine had less than five percent probability of belonging to most other North American wolverine populations evaluated. [Maybe those Montana or Wyoming -rines speak with a characteristic drawl, or the Idaho -rines have that Boise look.] The wolverine's discovery on national forest land north of Truckee a year ago surprised scientists, who feared the elusive animal was driven out of the Sierra long ago by human activity." [Or maybe they lost all their money at the casinos, and that ratty motel we once stayed at in Beattie was closed.]

The importance of this study can be overestimated.

Gee, I didn't know that

In February, I learned that I had been disenrolled from my Blue Cross Part D drug/ Medicare supplement plan. In a phone call, I was told that they had written me about the impending change in October, but I don't believe they did. I could have gone without Part D coverage, if my benevolent government hadn't found out and enrolled me in RX America. What would I do without my government?

Recently, I received a wonderful letter from my government-sponsored drug facilitator, telling me how to live my life. Listen to the startling facts my nanny government wants me to know.

1. Health problems may be caused by poor diet and obesity. Who knew?

2. People who stay active are healthier. Ya, ya, I know.

3. Excessive drinking of alcohol can cause irreversible damage. Really?

4. Smoking is bad for you. As if I can't read the packages.

5. Sleep deprivation can be dangerous. Ya, just ask the terrorists at Guantanamo.

6. Take medicine prescribed by your doctor, (or some guy you run into on the street?)

7. Happy people live longer. Unless your happiness comes out of a bottle.

Uncle Sam also had some green suggestions which I had never heard before,
in my home under a rock.

1. Use those light bulbs that are a real hassle to dispose of.

2. Take shorter showers and turn off the water when you brush your teeth. After all, there's no mention of personal hygiene in the seven earlier admonitions.

3. Water bottles take a long time to biodegrade, but recycle them anyway.

4. Inconvenience yourself by turning off appliances when not in use, because a little LED light or quartz clock, although they won't kill the battery in your car, will suck enough power to destroy the universe.

All that wisdom, and some easy puzzles and quotes, like, "Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance." -- Anon


FYI: The Bee did not arrive on Friday, but was included with Saturday's issue. Today's paper came with no news section.

FYI

It is 11:30 am on the first day of the new Sacramento Bee regime, and NO paper has arrived. Hmmm. . . .

Happy May Day, Tovarich.