"Phoning the E-R" (below) is published

Isn't it curious how changing one punctuation mark and two little words can change the entire meaning of a sentence, or, as in this case, render it incomprehensible? As published, the following small section was altered thus:
". . . lesbians? I'm a. . ." (instead of the original ". . . lesbians, and the. . ."), thus creating a second sentence which makes little or no sense. It does seem to imply that I am a vegetarian or "the" vegetarian who had called in earlier and prompted my response. How could the transcriber have thought what was said after her changes made sense?

FYI: Our former horse, after two unsuccessful tries at Emerald Downs (Washington), won at a mile yesterday. It was a $10,000 claiming race, so we still can't afford to buy him back. No money came our way, because breeders' awards only apply to races in California.

Memorial Day

I said it all last year. It's in the archives. Read again, and be enlightened.

Phoning the E-R

As a new member of a minority in California (non-Latino whites, 40.1%), am I now eligible to demand preferential treatment like the members of previous groups such as some blacks, non-smokers, pot smokers, gays and lesbians, and the vegetarian who, on Tuesday, asked for some additional liberal punishment for his omnivorous neighbors whose barbecues he wants to ban?

ON FRIDAY I received a call from the "transcriber" at the E-R. I suspect she couldn't believe how truthful I was, and wanted to verify that's what I actually said. She hid her dismay well, and didn't ask me if I meant it.

Wooo

As you know, the world did not end yesterday as predicted by the loony Harold Camping. However, when I went bedward about midnight, I discovered that the old battery-operated clock in my bed chamber had died at about 4:30 p.m. Nothing, not even a new battery, could resuscitate it.

I went into the other room to retrieve another battery-operated clock, one that plays Christmas songs if desired, as a replacement. Although seldom consulted, it had always been reliable. I found it running, but recording the time as 7 o'clock. Woooo. . . .

I put in the new battery I had tried previously, and fell into a fitful sleep. Sometimes coincidence can be eerie. At the moment, the clock and I are on the right time.

Bogart

On Wednesday, I watched "High Sierra" (1941), the stars of which are Humphrey Bogart, a small appealing dog, and a 1937 Plymouth. Also appearing is Ida Lupino who has fewer scenes than the car. Thursday, I tuned into the middle of "The Big Sleep" (1945) starring Bogart and Lauren Bacall. I believe he was driving the same 1937 Plymouth. The bad guys were driving a 1939 restyled Plymouth. The sailing ships on the hood ornamnents were clever early product placements.

"High Sierra" takes place, in part, in Lone Pine, California, a small picturesque community in the high desert at the foot of Mt. Whitney. About twenty-five years after the release of the film, my family and I moved there for one day when I secured a teaching position and rented a house. Arriving back home in the Bay Area to pack, I received two simultaneous phone calls. One was from the man who had rented us the house, and who had changed his mind. The other was from the school district nearby where I eventually spent the next 13+ years. I don't remember having seen the film before I resigned my one day job. I'm too lazy to enjoy changing residences.

I JUST RECEIVED a form letter from the Obama Medicare ghoul, Dr. Berwick, informing me I am eligible to apply for even more government financial assistance, but until I can't afford what I am paying now, I will not gouge the taxpayers any further. Good grief, what a guilt trip.

Fiction

I can't decide whether the person who's writing the story, "Bin Laden Buys the Farm," is a novelist or a playwright. Perhaps it's being orchestrated by J.J. Abrams or David E. Kelley (with their staffs), two masters of "making it up as you go along."

Whoever they are, they're attempting to ascribe Western ideas of morality to radical Muslims. The script discussions are concentrated on what will be the most offensive to the most people. For instance, they say porn flicks have been found. Unfortunately, that won't work because every American male has a collection of his own, and nobody cares.

Also, they have fabricated some mystery documents that are being evaluated by "someone." They have moved on successfully from the ill-advised pictures and the ocean dump, and are now into how wonderful President Obama is, and how HIS bravery and genius eliminated the evil threat. What revelation comes next? Was bin Laden into dogfighting because he once phoned Michael Vick? Maybe one of his wives is a sheep. Somebody's brainstorming it.

THE ADULTERATOR: Her name is Mildred Patricia Baena. TMZ says her son is the "spitting image" of his father. . . and Maria never noticed? What I want to know is. . . is Mildred legal?

"White"

As a member of a minority in California ("non-Latino whites," 40.1% as designated by the U.S. Census Bureau), I begin better to understand some of the discrimination felt by earlier minority groups. Two prominent headlines in recent newspapers made reference to "whites" as though skin color informed the description of a human being. The fact that some of us have lighter skin tone than others is irrelevant. The only person I ever knew who might have been accurately described as "white" was the Caucasian albino young man I met and befriended in college, and that was merely a visual aberration.

The government and other insensitive individuals should stop labeling persons unnecessarily, and promote equality. Citizens and documented aliens who are preparing to be citizens may be referred to as "Americans." All others, except visitors with the appropriate visas, should be deported. All extraneous designations identifying individuals by race, ethnicity, religion or gender should be excised from the lexicon. I believed that even before I observed "white" being misapplied.

Irrelevant media

I feel dirty when I watch "Two and a Half Men," but nobody used to know, especially the network, because Neilsen never asks me. I knew it was completely inappropriate for the teenagers who undoubtedly watched it. I like to think that I only watched it because I enjoyed the shows which appeared before and after it; and because some of the writing was clever, I pretended it wasn't morally repugnant. I know what Jesus would say.

Next season, Ashton Kutcher will replace Charlie Sheen. He will portray a new character, although one probably isn't needed. Jon Cryer, Ryan Stiles and Conchata Ferrell are competent comic actors. Despite his propensity for making tons of money, Ashton Kutcher is a boob.

If there is anything else being shown in that time slot, I will finally make a concerted effort to select alternate viewing. To those who would suggest I read something instead, I'll take it under advisement, as usual.

(Of course, Holland Taylor, who has appeared in every sitcom ever made, never fails to amuse. I'll bet she thinks Ashton Kutcher is a boob, as well.)

UGLY: It's not as though I haven't tried, but I don't find Bette Davis attractive. As I watch "Jezebel" (1938), I observe she has buggy eyes and unappealing lips. She also talks kinda funny. . . you know, with that early Hollywood stilted, faux British, overly dramatic patois.

Land Ho

The U.S. Census Bureau has released the following breakdown of the population of California:

Non-Latino whites. . . . . . . . . . . . 40.1%
Latinos (Skin slightly darker) . . . . . . . 37.6%
Asians (Skin frequently called yellow). . . . . 13.0%
Blacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.2%
TOTAL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96.9%

This begs the question, "Who are the remaining 3.1%?" What about Native Americans (formerly called Redskins), blue people (Smurfs and Da'vis), little green aliens, and superheroes (such as Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Oprah Winfrey)?

Actually, I believe I have the answer. They are the people who successfully filled out the form, and declined to specify the irrelevant racial information. I was unable to do so, because no questionnaire arrived in our post office box. That allowed census personnel to come to our door to eyeball and profile me, and that is undoubtedly why first born and I were listed as "white," although we identify ourselves only as "Americans."

Actually I can trace my lineage back to the family of Noah, the sole survivors of The Flood, but with no last name and no pictures, how do we know where they came from or what they looked like.

We have to stop categorizing people by their differences. We minorities don't like it.

The answer ([ - ] portion published 5/10)

Sacramento Bee writer, Diana Lambert, in her front page story "History lessons on gays weighed," just above the fold in the Saturday 5/7 edition, asked the question, "Given the diversity of race, ethnicity and religion in California classroms, whose story do you tell?" The answer is obvious -- the American (or California or World) History story. [It should be completely irrelevant to the school what race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation the persons who lived and/or made history were.

History is a record of events, and the public schools must take care accurately to describe what occurred and give credit, by name, to those who were involved. However, if some actions were precipitated by any of the factors enumerated above, it is strictly the responsibility of the parents to interpret that behavior for each of their own children. Observing when parents do not fulfill those duties does not give the schools the right to usurp them.]

I HAVE DISCOVERED the appropriate answer to the annoyingly insincere parroted question often heard at the beginning of many telephone calls, "How are you?" If Woody Allen's response, "Well, I have this herpe on my lip" doesn't appeal to you, how about, "I'm just livin' the American dream?"

The way it looks to me today

The story of the death of Osama bin Laden changes by the hour, and if it were a TV show, I would suspect they are making it up as they go along. With the Obama administration's penchant for lying, I am forced to create my own scenario. At this moment, subject to change, I believe the President ordered an execution. No matter what the Seals encountered, bin Laden was going to die. The withholding of the photos suggests that taking them was a mistake, and the ocean dump really raises my suspicion, because that prompt burial tradition is Jewish, and it is unlikely that radical Muslims would embrace it.

Obviously, Obama's primary motivation is re-election. We have already learned that, for all his high-minded talk, he's just a cheap Chicago politician. When faced with the election results of 2010, he immediately began waffling and called it compromise. Men of character don't fold under pressure, and no one should vote for politicians who don't stand by their convictions.

I sincerely hope that those voters who were fooled by his slick rhetoric the first time will not be hoodwinked by this latest obvious bit of contrived melodrama. I pray that no one will support a person who can order his enemies to be assassinated, but lacks the guts to do it himself.

FYI: "Offended" (5/3) was published in the E-R today.

Cinco de Mayo. . . again

As I noted here last year, "Today, Mexicans celebrate the occasion, when, according to legend, three mestizos and a burro drove out several thousand crack French
troops. . ." from their country. As usual, many of those of Mexican heritage will commemorate that occasion by drinking to excess, eating spicy food, and attending cock fights and other manifestations of their "culture." You may wish to whack a pinata in their honor (contents thereof, your choice).

This year, to facilitate the full enjoyment of their festivities, the E-R reports, "AAA of Northern California is offering its program for drinking drivers. . . From 6 p.m. Thursday to 6 a.m. Friday they can call. . . for a free tow home of up to 10 miles." Is that short distance for FREE service discriminatory? When selecting a party venue, can the revelers be sure they will not exceed such an unreasonable restriction? After all, "Drivers don't need to be a (sic) AAA member" (or be a citizen, have a driver's license, or speak English).

One Polack's view

Usually, I avoid films which rely too much upon the word "fuck" (and its various forms: -ed, -er, and -ing), but as I was surfing the Dish recently, I came upon something the title of which I have deliberately forgotten. On screen, a group of drugged out slackers were sitting around when a competent blues singer appeared on the television. Through the haze, one of the addle-brained denizens yelled out, as if the singer could hear, "Shut the fuck up!"

I laughed aloud. . . then, I changed the channel. I cherish that app.

That brings me to Donald Trump. Last week he spoke publically in Las Vegas. In addition to the sprinkling of variations of "fuck," he referred to the Chinese leaders as "motherxxxxxxs." That is more than annoying, more than rude; it is downright disgusting. In my view, it is even more offensive than that one word that only "niggers" can say to each other. I don't know what Trump was trying to accomplish, but he certainly alienated me. Are we really ready for a presidential candidate who is profanity challenged?

There is one word, however, that I find to be the worst of all. Yesterday, Judge Judy put it into perfect perspective. Her defendent was one of those unemployed male losers who had taken financial advantage of a young mother. Judy asked him, "How long did you work in California?"

"Six months," he replied.

"And for how long will you be eligible for unemployment compensation?" she queried.

"One year," he said.

"Well, that's why California is going into bankruptcy."

What's the word for that, which I find so offensive? Liberalism.

Offended

I have allowed myself to be offended by the bold, Page 1 headline "Americans celebrate death of bin Laden" in Tuesday's E-R. Whoever wrote that is apparently oblivious to the fact that men of good will do not celebrate the death of other human beings. That kind of behavior is more appropriate to terrorists and others who lack compassion and respect for their fellow men.

Even misguided, vicious killers like Osama bin Laden leave behind a few people who loved them despite their faults, and it is not appropriate that anyone should further burden them in their sorrow. Those insensitive persons who went out to dance and sing in the street on Sunday night, thus demonstrating their inhumanity, might better have dropped to their knees and prayed for bin Laden's immortal soul. Taking pleasure in suffering and death is morbid and inexcusably cruel.