Common Sense

A group of religious extremists who follow a perverted form of Islam have announced that everyone who does not believe as they do must die. They refer to you and me and millions of other people as infidels, and interpret the Quran to mean that they must kill all infidels. How do you react?

1. Ignore them.

2. Ignore them because they're crazy.

3. Ignore them because they're a relatively small group.

4. Ignore them because they can't mean it.

5. Try to negotiate with them.

6. Engage them in meaningful talks.

7. Try to convince them that other religions also have value.

8. Convince them we're all equal under God.

9. Offer them financial incentives.

10. Treat them with love, and they will reciprocate.

11. Let the UN bring pressure upon them to stop the killing.

12. Ask the UN to issue a proclamation forbidding the killing of infidels.

13. Bury your head in the sand, and hope the problem goes away.

14. Embrace their religion.

15. Pretend to embrace their religion.

16. Bend over and grab your ankles.

17. Buy a gun and hide in your home.

18. Turn on the TV.

19. Join the volunteer military.

20. Kill them before they kill you.

Harry Reid, Idiot

The Ohio State Senate has voted to remove the words "idiot," "lunatic," and "insane" from the Ohio Revised Code. Such characterizations are probably less hurtful when reduced to more PC euphemisms. But when we refer to Harry Reid (D-NEV), "idiot" seems completely appropriate. Observe his recent exchange with Vice President Cheney:

Cheney: "Some Democratic leaders seem to believe that blind opposition to the new strategy in Iraq is good politics. Senator Reid himself has said that the war in Iraq will bring his party more seats in the next election. It is cynical to declare that the war is lost because you believe it gives you political advantage."

Reid: "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with the administration's chief attack dog."

Who's insulting whom? Harry doesn't seem to know.

Political Cleansing

We all understand the evil that is ethnic cleansing. It involves oppression and death. It's excesses are inhumane and beneath contempt. Therefore, when I present this post, which I have titled Political Cleansing, I want to make it clear that although this offense is not lethal, it is similarly venal and unfair.

Since the election, Congress has been mostly concerned with decimating the Republican Party. Although the nation is at war, illegal aliens are flooding over the border, children are doing without health care, and crime is running rampant, all that Congress is trying to do is destroy careers through character assassination. Every Republican is a target, and even their personal lives are being scrutinized. Digging up dirt seems to be the Democrats' first priority.

Meanwhile, "prominent" Democrats such as Harry "Lost" Reid, Nancy "Big Planes" Pelosi, Teddy "You, swim, girl" Kennedy, John "I served in Vietnam" Kerry, Jack "Surrender" Murtha, Bill "The Adulterer" Clinton (I could go on forever) can do or say any unconscionable thing they want and Congress ignores it; but let one Republican surrepticiously pick his nose, and they're all over him.

When the Democrat Congress told us things would be different, we foolishly assumed it would be for the better. Instead, we got vindictiveness and a disregard for the needs of the people. And we've always been told that liberals were loving and caring. . . .

Extra: It's official. . . the New York City Council is crazy. Following a series of outrageous decisions, they have now banned metal baseball bats in high schools. As a baseball purist, I have never liked metal bats, but because they are no more dangerous, less expensive, and more durable than wooden bats. I have come to accept them because their use allows more young people to participate in the sport. This ban will reduce or eliminate some programs.

The Buck Stops Here

I am finally angry with President Bush. Why is he letting Alberto Gonzales twist in the wind, and be subjected to a vindictive Democrat Congress, when all he has to do is take full responsibility for the decision he made? U.S. Attorneys serve at the pleasure of the President. Eight of them did not please the President. Under the Constitution, he has the authority to fire them. Following the chain of command, he ordered Attorney General Gonzales to inform them. When a question arose, the President should have emulated Harry S Truman, the author of the title of this post, and told Congress to go to hell.

Extra: PBS has cancelled Eye on Washington. Apparently, the news talk show wasn't liberal enough. McGinty and the panel frequently presented both sides of the issue. PBS couldn't have that.

Quartet

Four articles in close proximity in today's paper evoke varied reactions:

1. The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ("affectionately" referred to as the 9th Circus) has finally done something right. They upheld the will of the people of the state of Arizona that mandates that voters should prove their citizenship when registering by showing a passport, birth certificate, naturalization papers, tribal identification or, under some circumstances, an Arizona driver's license. Who could possibly argue with that?

2. Lori Monian, whose dog Wyatt was recently diagnosed with kidney problems caused by recalled pet food, spared no expense to have him treated, and Wyatt appears to be on the way to complete recovery. Monian incurred about $800 in veterinarian bills. In a paraphrase of the Boy's Town expression of love (He ain't heavy, he's my brother), she said, "I don't begrudge the money; he's my dog."

3. Two Maryland coal miners were found dead beneath at least 45 feet of rocks and dirt. I am still amazed that we can get people to risk their lives underground, but we can't find any Americans to pick fruit and vegetables. It couldn't be the money; how many (surviving) rich coal miners have you seen lately?

4. In San Diego, the 29-foot-tall cross, a universal symbol of sacrifice, which was erected in 1954, is still being assailed by the hypocrites in the ACLU and, now, by the Jewish War Veterans and individual Jewish and Muslim plaintiffs. Invoking the non-existent church-state separation issue, the Jewish War Veterans continue to foster intolerance. I, for one, have long since forgiven the Jews for their part in the Crucifixion. When will they forgive themselves?

Shame

After a thorough examination of his biography, I have determined that Harry Reid (D-NEV) never served in the military, yet as the Senate Majority Leader he has boldly announced that the war in Iraq is "lost." Of course, never having been a soldier, he wouldn't understand the deleterious effect this could have on morale, nor does he care. Not to mention has lack of knowledge of military tactics, and his several questionable political shenanigans in Nevada.

What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas, but the man born in Searchlight is now in Washington, and what happens there has world implications. Harry should watch his filthy mouth.

Do I hear the word "impeachment" at the Happy Ox and the HoMotel in Battle Mountain, Nevada?

(Happy 118th; meet your new roommate, Cho)

Guilt

I am sad, disturbed and angry about the events at Virginia Tech University. Some parents sent their lovely children off to college, and a deranged individual took their lives. The mentally afflicted killer blamed others and this country for his unhappiness. He was wrong. Only he was responsible.

Already, some media coverage is seeing this as a political issue. It isn't. Gun control would not have averted this tragedy. George W. Bush and the war had nothing to do with it. I love my country and refuse to feel guilty. The perpetrator came here 14 years ago, and if he didn't like it, he should have gone elsewhere. Thank God he's now gone; it's unfortunate he waited too long.

Abstinence

(As seen on TV) Teaching abstinence in schools is wasting $176M per year.

So. . . you can't legislate morality. Who knew? Let's have the schools teach the 3 R's, and leave the sex education to the parents and the church, where it belongs.

Too esoteric for TV? Not.

So. . . The Rutgers women's basketball team, and especially their coach, were very offended by Don Imus words. Now. . . let's see. . . what covers that? Is it the 11th Commandment ("Thou Shalt Not Be Offended"), or the First Amendment ("Freedom of the press, religion, and the freedom from being offended")? Imus is a jerk, [and he has been punished, but if he comes back on the air,] and if you don't like what he says, turn off the radio.

[Added after submission.]

(You can only be offended if you let someone do it to you. Sticks and stones. . . .)

The husband did it.

Recently, on TV, I saw a movie which doesn't review well, but I, with my weird sense of humor, found quite humorous. It was "Drowning Mona," and it was a routine murder investigation with one twist, which I still chuckle about. Everyone in the small New York town, where the story was set, drove a Yugo.

The Yugo was a poorly engineered automobile (which my grandmother would have described [in Polish] as a cat without a tail). It was manufactured by a government factory in Yugoslavia, a country which no longer exists. It was a former Soviet Republic which was a federation of six people's republics: Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia and Hercegovina, Macedonia, Slovenia, and Montenegro. Apparently, the Communists tried to do their best to promote world peace, because they expected people of diverse ethnicities who were suspicious and envious of each other to live together in harmony. Sadly, it didn't work, and they are separate countries again.

In the film, there was a proliferation of Yugos of many colors and in various stages of repair. Even the police department had an official brown Yugo, an underpowered econo-box. We can only hope they never had to chase an out-of-towner. My interest was divided, because I was following the story; therefore, I will have to see it again to verify that, in fact, as I hope, nobody drove anything but a Yugo. Now that's funny.

Better?

(As submitted to TV) What about President Bush's plan for immigration?

A fence on the border is reminiscent of the Berlin Wall. . . ugly and an inefficient deterrent. It is unlawful to hire illegal aliens, so make employers demand proper documentation, which immigrants should obtain from U.S. consulates in their own countries. After a thorough background check, we should make it easy and free of cost to emigrate.

A Dilemma

I have never received anything for free. I never expected it; I never asked for it. I have now reached a point when I am getting back more money from Social Security than I put in. I don't know if I should feel guilty or not.

In the 1930's, some misguided politicians passed a law establishing a mandatory insurance program. They felt obliged to mother those who didn't save for their own retirement, and it fell upon all of us. In those days, people tended to die soon after their 65th birthdays, and Social Security was a profit-making endeavor for the government. Since then, the drug companies have pumped us full of medications which have greatly extended our life expectancy, and the system is now in danger of collapse.

I feel very strange getting something for nothing for the first time in my life. I would tell the government to stop sending me my pittance, but that would undoubtedly interfere with my Medicare, which I need, and I do pay for. Perhaps I should apologize to those who are paying in today, and who may never see any of it in their old age.

There are many other people, however, who are getting government money for free. I don't wish to be counted in their number. They ask for it; they expect it. The fall into three major categories: the indolent, the ingenuous, and the illegal.

The indolent are those who are too lazy to work. Many of them were prominently displayed on TV during the Katrina disaster. They are those who think the government owes them a living. It doesn't.

The ingenuous are young, and are replacing their mother's teat with government welfare. Instead of laboring, they work the system to support themselves and their children, because the system is particularly sensitive to the needs of children. Sometimes the ingenuous produce multiple offspring just for the increased income.

The illegals sneak over the border in contravention of U.S. law, and then hold ugly mass demonstrations in major cities demanding to be treated like citizens. The receive benefits not even available to many citizens, such as free health care, and many of them make little effort to gain citizenship. They are a drain on the U.S. economy when they send their earnings "home."

It is said ad nauseum that all Americans are descended from immigrants. My descendents were middle European Caucasians. They pursued immigration through legal channels, and all they asked of the government was the opportunity to work, become citizens, and live the American dream. They got nothing for free. They didn't expect it; they didn't ask for it.

The least I would ask of those living in the U.S is to support the government and make their own way financially. As to freebies from Uncle Sam: don't expect them; don't ask for them.

Just to irritate you

(As seen on TV) Should illegal aliens get free birth control?

The nicer we make it for illegal aliens, the more will come. If they are greeted by arrest and deportation, unemployment, and the same expensive health care citizens all pay, maybe they'll stay where they belong. Let's teach them to migrate legally,[and insist they do so.]

(Is that inflammatory enough?)

Shark

Last night, in prime time, I wasted another hour watching a hostage drama. An incompetent bailiff allowed a clearly distraught man into the courtroom where the most vicious criminal ever was on trial. Intruding himself into the proceedings, the DM (distraught man) snuck up behind and disarmed the bailiff, who clearly deserved it for his stupidity. Waving the gun about, the DM demanded his conviction, in some other court, be overturned because he was innocent, which it turned out he was.

Moments of tension ensued; the judge was accidentally shot and several hostages cowered about. The drama degenerated into a contest between the MVCE (most vicious criminal ever) and the Prosecutor, a fine actor, for the mind of the DM. Despite the Prosecutor's calm demeanor and feigned interest in the DM's dilemma, the MVCE convinced the DM to unlock his handcuffs.

Then, they were all in trouble. The MVCE demanded a helicopter, but, surprisingly, forgot the several million dollars that usually accompanies that order. When the chopper arrived, the MVCE and the DM strode confidently aboard, and flew off to Brazil where there is no extradition and the sun shines all day. They were last seen sipping Coronas and smoking Cubans in a cabana.

Actually, the story ended exactly as every hostage drama does. Just after the last commercial, the big handsome detective came in the back way (which, apparently, he could have done forty-eight minutes earlier) and shot the MVCE. The DM was arrested, and will only get a slap on the wrist, because, despite his recent pecadillos, he WAS, after all, innocent of the original crime.

A Quickie

The little tinhorn Iranian dictator has freed the British hostages. Do you think two U.S. aircraft carriers offshore had anything to do with it?

All that terrorists and terrorist sympathizers understand is force. I hope when the members of Congress come back from their vacation, the ones who want to surrender will grow a backbone and take a lesson from the British and U.S. Navies.

Extra: (as if anyone cares) Keith Richards denies snorting dad's ashes. What will the story be tomorrow?

Stalks and Bonds

(As seen on TV)

The real meaning of holidays has been generally forgotten and perverted into an excuse for frivolity and drunkenness. If we all went into the fields on Cesar Chavez Day and helped the farm workers to have a really productive work day, that might be an appropriate celebration.

(As seen on TV)

Barry Bonds should have retired the moment after he tied Babe Ruth's record of 714 home runs. I would have even been OK with his hitting 715, but no more. He missed his chance to show some class.

Extra: The destructive tsunami in the Solomon Islands is all George Bush's fault. After all, didn't we see him on the grassy knoll?

Penguins

I love animals, particularly baby animals. There are no ugly baby animals. I love dogs and bears, even adult dogs and bears, and especially big dogs. I find otters irresistible. I even love unattractive animals. (Insert your own political joke here.)

Yesterday, I saw on the TV that penguins are dying in Antarctica. Penguins, the most entertaining animals in the whole world. Penguins, those waddling little bundles of joy, are dying, and it may be because of the big GW. What am I going to do?

I have already conceded that warming apparently is occurring. Am I doing it? Should I feel guilty? Am I killing the penguins? I do pretty much everything that the anti-warming wonks recommend, and that which the holier-than-thou in government mandate. I guess I'm covered. I really hope someone can save the penguins though, or I'll be very sad.

Pelosi to visit Syria despite objections

WASHINGTON (AP) -- "House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will visit Syria, a country President Bush has shunned as a sponsor of terrorism, despite being asked by the administration not to go.

"'In our view, it is not the right time to have these sort of high-profile visitors to Syria,' State Department spokesman Sean McCormack told reporters Friday.

"Pelosi arrived in Israel on Friday in what is her second fact-finding trip to the Middle East since taking over leadership of the House in January.

"Her repeat trip, an indication she plans to play a role in foreign policy, is also an act of defiance to the administration, which says such diplomatic overtures by lawmakers do more harm than good. . . ."

(The emphasis is mine.)