Recent TV submissions

The new Secretary of the Treasury didn't "make a little mistake" with his taxes; he deliberately attempted to avoid paying them. The President, who promised to run the crooks out of government, has just added one to his Cabinet. (USED)

The Supreme Court, surrendering to human weakness, made abortion legal. In the Obama administration this will not change, because pandering to weakness will become the order of the day. (USED)

The most dependable source of unbiased news is Rush Limbaugh. Whether or not you stay tuned for his commentary and humor is a reflection of your bias, but the descriptions of the events are completely accurate.

The first thing Hillary Clinton should do is divorce Bill. She doesn't need him any more, because if she considers being Secretary of State more prestigious than being a Senator, she has reached the pinnacle of her career; and, of course, she'll never be President as long as Sarah Palin is available.

Nancy Pelosi is wrong when she says abortion is good for the economy, but the more people who die, the more it will help to clear the air, so we can keep driving our comfortable, gas-guzzling smoke belchers, instead of those ugly little urban golf carts.

For centuries, education consisted of a teacher imparting his knowledge to one person or a small group of eager learners. Much of this was even done in the great outdoors. Adding nice buildings, fancy equipment, and so-called experts won't make the teachers any better. Good books and teachers are the program. (PENDING)

A la plage

Recently, I watched my first (and probably, last) Eric Rohmer film, "Pauline at the Beach." It was verbose, as the critics always point out about the work of Rohmer. It was technically creative, and the implied sex was tastefully done, but the characters were boring, and I couldn't get interested in any of their petty problems. I bought it in a two-for-one DVD sale, and you may have it if you'll send me a dollar or two for postage. It's quite soporific, similar to the TV show I'm watching now, "The Last Templar." Mira Sorvino's legs are keeping me alert, if not terribly interested in the story. Rats, now she's wearing Hillary attire.

BY THE WAY: Do you think Hillary will ever dress like a woman again? How thick are her ankles?

Unite, not divide (No rebuttal received, so I must be right)

Suppose a black person who was born in the U.S. to black parents who were also born here were to emigrate to an African country. When he settled there, would he call himself an African-American or an American-African? I suspect, neither. So, why would he call himself an African-American here?

Example two: What if a black person with any circumstance of birth becomes a U.S. citizen and emigrates to an African country? African-American? American-African? Again, probably neither. Why here?

Example three: Should a black person who is not a citizen call himself an African-American anywhere in the world? Of course not. Citizenship is the first necessary step in becoming an American.

Example last: Should a citizen whose paternal heritage is German and his maternal background Polish call himself some sort of hybrid? Never. The name "American" cannot be improved upon, and should never be diluted. Please encourage an end to racism, starting with elimination of the modifications which separate one American from another.

Apologize

At the end of yesterday's quasi-cannonization of Obama, the Rev. Joseph Lowery insulted millions of Americans during his rap-like rhyming screed. Even I allowed myself to be offended by his statement, "When whites would embrace what is right." He was referring to those white people who just elected a mulatto President, and without whom, it wouldn't have happened. What the Rev. Lowery said was unconscionable, and he owes the nation a giant apology. That would be "what is right" for him.

A pledge

Now that Obama is President, I will be giving the office the same respect I always have. As skeptical as I may be that he can do the job, I will limit my criticism to verified errors, and unlike those who heaped undeserved abuse upon President Bush, I will always tell the truth. I invite you to call me on it, if you detect a slip. Please be sure, however, that you have irrefutable evidence, and not just the words of AP-OBAMA. Naturally, characterizing what politicians say as truth is strictly forbidden.

Got any sourdough?

As you ponder your fellow citizens, standing around a burn-barrel, ingesting their hobo stew, take heart. Tomorrow, the mulatto from Chicago takes over, and he has promised his little girls that he'll make it, "Aw better." You, unfortunately, are expected to suffer, even though you may have done nothing wrong. It's called "shared sacrifice," a Marxist concept. Good luck.

FYI: It is possible that the "B" in Chesley B. Sullenberger III stands for Baldwin. They truly are everywhere.

CORRECTION: Research reveals that the Molvanian form of Chesley is spelled Chesjley, adding the obligatory, extraneous "j" that permeates the language. In that incarnation, the name means "winged hero," where "winged" does not refer to airplanes, which are just now catching on in Molvania. On the phone, Simun, the Consul, also said he doesn't believe that monkeys can fly or care to swim. In addition, he asked me if I had any spare change I could send him. I suggested he ask the Obama, of whom the little girl interviewed on TV optimistically said, "He'll be a good President; my parents told me so."

U.S. Air finds new N.Y. landing site

At the impetus of wild birds, U.S. Airways Flight 1549 was encouraged to land in the Hudson River. All 155 or so human fliers survived, so we can make sport of the event (with apologies to grieving bird lovers).

"Sully" (Chesley B. Sullenberger III), the pilot, had just left LaGuardia when his Airbus A320 was attacked by birds in an episode of air rage, involving rude gestures and fowl language. The birds started it. As cold as it is in the East, "Sully" may have supposed that the river was frozen solid, but he was wrong. When he saw it was liquified, he surmised that he'd get his feet wet, and he had just put on clean sox. He could just hear his wife yelling, "Do you think all I have to do all day is wash your clothes?"

Many of the crash victims lined up on the wings, also wetting their feet and ruining many pairs of shoes. Someone had told them that boats were on their way to rescue them. Unlike the Titanic, it was true; and in moments, Mayor Bloomberg and some of his buddies swooped them up, and rushed them to the lawyers waiting anxiously on shore. In Washington, Hillary Clinton was heard to say, "Leave me alone. I'm no longer a Senator from New York. Those firefighters aren't going to upstage me."

BY THE WAY: Do you think the passengers would have flown with him if they had known the pilot's name was Chesley? Not just Chesley, but Chesley III. (Chesley in Molvanian means "flying water monkey." III means son of II. II was a disappointment to I, the original simian. He called himself I as a tribute to Darwin. Darwin, of course, was a famous loony.)

As seen on TV

I will always be grateful that President Bush cared so much for you and me that he sacrificed his own reputation and endured undeserved abuse to keep us safe from further terrorist attacks. Thank God for President Bush.

Eats

The nice Portuguese-inspired restaurant in our pleasant little town has lost some of its appeal for me. In the few months since my last visit, there have been some restrictive changes. Some of the prices have ballooned, and the two entrees we ordered, the price of which were still the same, are now offered with soup OR salad, instead of AND salad. Also, the chicken breast was somewhat smaller than previously, and the Thousand Island dressing, missing before, now wore a suspicious orange color. We eschewed it.

The young server was solicitious, if not a little overly-attentive. I don't like restaurants so dark that you can't identify the food, but I noticed the ambiance here consisted of a small electric fireplace and lighting as bright as McDonalds. There are several eateries about 20 miles away with fine, tasty American food for half the price. Road trip.

75

Yes, dinner is planned.

Social jerk

A recent newsletter from the college who shepherded me through two degrees, bears an article that indicts the concept of "publish or perish," and sets the cause of eliminating racism back exponentially.

In his new book, "Racism in the 21st Century," Ronald Hall, associate professor of social work, and his "fellow authors" (read TAs) argue that light-skinned blacks, Hispanics, Asians and other minorities often receive preferential treatment over their darker-skinned counterparts in everything from education to employment to housing. No mention is made of the millions (or even thousands) of people interviewed to reach that conclusion.

Hall then makes the sweeping statement, "Skin color discrimination is very covert. I THINK it's a huge problem because it's so insidious and so subtle." Gracious, how did he manage to uncover it? He also says, "It's kind of like that music in a doctor's office; it's there but no one really notices it." What a scholarly work.

I THINK he's just another black man with a chip on his shoulder, who is even irritated by elevator music. Don't take his classes. By the way, isn't "social work" more of a talent than a college curriculum? Do you have to study to be compassionate and concerned?

BY ANOTHER WAY: President-select Obama, the candidate of hope, now says, "Fxxx the hope, we're in deep doo-doo." Is that the change he promised?

Rain?

For the past two months, the weather forecast on KNVN-TV has predicted rain an average of three days per week. It has rained ONCE. Again, yesterday, it was supposed to rain, but NO. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of rain; but, on the other hand, we need it or there will be talk of drought.

The issue here is more about that science baloney. The National Weather Service has spent a lot of your tax money on expensive equipment that, apparently, can't accurately predict the weather. Could it be that nature is going to do what it's going to do, and we are ill-prepared to predict it? Of course. Why do we let them continue to bamboozle us?

Another year

It's another year, and if the government doesn't fail, and/or the terrorists don't invade, this year will be much the same as last year. That's the way it has always been, especially for me. If my social security check keeps coming, and a certain insurance company remains solvent, my income will remain constant, except for a pittance of a cost of living increase. So, when the prices inevitably rise, I only have to cut back on non-essentials. I should be able to do it, because the only time I've spent more than $100 at one time (barring health costs and electric bills) since 1994 (my last new car), was the new TV I bought just before Christmas. For my upcoming birthday, I will be hoping for one of those 2-3 meals in a nice restaurant I may enjoy this year.

I hope your life is one of contentment, too, this year.