Memorial Day

Today, we commemorate the passing of those young men, and women (at their insistence), who died in wars started by older men with political and/or religious differences. Don't misunderstand. . . I believe, considering human nature, wars are inevitable. I just think those who start them should do the fighting. At the very least, we should not make cannon fodder of the youngest of us. Soldiers should be categorized as "50 and over," and all politicians who declare war should be ready to serve on the front lines. It is for the lives of young men, and women that we should be fighting.

Today, honor those who died when they shouldn't have. Partying is hardly appropriate. Consider prayer that, going forward, responsibility will fall upon those who start the trouble.

(Enough about death. . . we have two family birthdays coming. . . the people for whom I'm fighting liberalism.)

RIP

I cannot allow the occasion to pass without comment. Dennis Hopper 1935-2010, one of my top ten favorite character actors, has passed. Usually type-cast as a deranged villain, he was more than that. He was actually crazy, and I will miss him.

Q & A

Q: Art Linkletter -- Dead or Canadian?

A: As of yesterday, both. Age 97.

Bloggers say the darnedest things.

Moo

Directly below an article in the Sacramento Bee in which the Democrats congratulate themselves for reducing the budget deficit by flushing California down the drain, there is another bit of news, that being that Todd Lieu (D-Torrance) has successfully shepherded Bill 1778 through the Assembly. Without GOP participation, Lieu has convinced the Democrats to prevent the California Milk Advisory Board from ever producing another "Happy Cow" promotional film in New Zealand. What a productive use of legislative time.

The humor came about when an Assembly committee was assured by the Board that "any cows identified as Californian were, indeed, California cows." So, they saved production costs by shipping bovine actresses to New Zealand?

"Too much law make people mad."

Double entendre

Today, I began reading a certain David White's letter to the editor of the E-R about the District Attorney election in a neighboring county. I only continued to read because of the clever manner in which he criticized the incumbent, knowing I am ineligible to vote for that office.

White spoke of the "flagrant abuse of his office and power [and how he] used his position to protect his friends and persecute his enemies. . . [how he was a] dissembling public servant, disastrous administrator, disengenuous spokesman. . . disconnected from his constituents, [he] has disregarded truthfulness, dismissed decency, disparaged the citizenry, dishonored his oath, discomfited the law abiding, disgraced his office, disgusted the public and should now be disburdened of his position."

As I continued to read, a picture began to form in my mind of a certain resident of the White House, and I would suggest that, especially, the last seven words of the above quoted material should be applied to him.

Interpretation

For the past six TV seasons I have been glued to every moment of "Lost." Through all the confusion, I came back each week to try to make sense of as much of it as I could. Last night, it all ended. For me, the conclusion seems to have been disturbing, because I slept fitfully, and my stomach is still slightly unsettled. (Or I could just be sick.)

As therapy, I present here what I believe happened, because I have to resolve it in my own mind, even if you may disagree. Saturday night, the producers cleverly presented the pilot episode which opened as the plane crashed, and the injured protagonist, Dr. Jack Shephard, awoke in a bamboo forest. At the very end of Sunday's finale, he makes his way back to very same spot. It is obvious that he and all the "survivors" had always been dead. Some instantly, and the rest shortly after, especially since the doctor wasn't there to treat and nurture them.

Therefore, the flashbacks to the characters' lives before they boarded the fatal flight were all that was relevant. All the rest of the content -- the flashforwards portraying the lives of the "survivors" that came back, and the flashsideways which showed their lives if the plane hadn't crashed -- was just the writers playing with our minds. Damn them!

PARENTHETICALLY: The plot elements encountered by the "survivors" on the mysterious island where the plane crashed, such as electrical forces that supposedly allowed the place to move and/or disappear, a smoke "monster" that killed people, a mislocated polar bear, and groups of persons who were or had previously been on the island, were mildly interesting. Only now do I understand their logic, because, after death, we have no idea what will or won't happen, so anything is possible.

Comic "Non Sequitur" on science

Young Danae has been sitting under a tree doing "research." Her little brother approaches and asks, "Whatcha doin', Danae?"

"Scientific research."

"Really? On what?"

"Where the sun sets."

"Um, why?"

"'Cuz there's big bucks in researching stuff we already know. . . the trick is milking it as long as you can."

"Oh. . . who's funding it?" asks the brother.

Panel three shows Danae pondering, and in panel four she says, "I was counting on a bidding war."

Brother sums it up: "First principle of science, Danae. . . get the funding secured before you conduct the research."

Once again, "Non Sequitur" skewers science.

Comic "Baby Blues"

The young son is digging a hole. His mother approaches and says, "Nice hole."

The child responds, "Thanks. It's been a good day. I've been thinking it's just the right size to bury a dead skunk."

"You found a dead skunk?" asks the mother.

"Naw," responds the boy. "I said it's been a good day. . . not a great one."

He resumes digging.

Humor

I have discovered that I especially love the humor of the unexpected. . . frequently a non sequitur.

I watched "'Til Death" at 7 p.m. on Sunday. Obviously, anything relegated to that time slot is of questionable quality, and that Brad Garrett sitcom is spotty at best. But this week, it featured the comic genius of Martin Mull, Fernwood's Barth Gimble. His character teaches at the same school as Brad. When he is absent for a couple of days, Brad goes to his house to investigate. He discovers that Mull is an even greater hoarder than he had supposed, and as he views the accumulation of trash from the doorway, Mull entreats, "Come in; you're letting the flies out."

Turnabout is hilarious.

A delivery

Friday, we finally received our long-anticipated post card from our world traveler. It bore the image of one distant land's most famous edifice, possibly the most recognizable in the world. It took quite a while to get here, almost as long as those two checks which disappeared after we sent them to institutions right here in America.

Perfunctory research surprised me when it revealed that the aforementioned popular tourist destination was constructed several hundred years later than I had always imagined. So much of that new stuff, such as the Eiffel Tower and MTV, can be really ugly.

The haps

VOTER ASSISTANCE: One candidate for Governor of California has successfully persuaded me not to vote for her by bombarding my mailbox with a 48-page slick propagandazine. Meg Whitman won't be buying my vote. Of course, the fact that one third of her platform involves screwing with education cements my decision to reject her. When was the last time she taught in the public schools?

INSTITUTIONALIZED RACISM: The chancellor of the University of California, Davis has given $100,000 in "discretionary funds" to the Black Student Union. That seems to be the height of indiscretion, because students are students, and encouraging some of them to pursue an agenda contrary to that of others only promotes racism. Rodney King's question still rings clear -- "Can't we all just get along?" "The" Student Union unifies all the students.

"Shorty" ( published 5/20)

With the nomination of Elena "Shorty" Kagan to the Supreme Court, I think it prudent to remind everyone of the mistake that resulted in the unfortunate confirmation of Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

The U.S. Supreme Court is like no other court in the world. In fact, calling it a court is somewhat confusing, because there are no findings of guilt or innocence. Its only charge is to determine whether the law applied in a lower court decision was constitutional. In that regard, it must be a matter of complete indifference to the Justices which side won or lost in the original case, but only if the decision arrived at was constitutional.

Therefore, in selecting Supreme Court Justices, the only salient issues are the nominee's knowledge of, and respect for, the Constitution. With Justice Sotomayor, the issues of race, gender, and her alleged superiority to white males were irrelevant. Similarly, when the AP, Tuesday, called the Court "fractured" and suggested it could, as the President improperly believes, be repaired by "someone who could counter the court's conservative leaders," that is not a valid consideration.

Let us hope that Ms Kagan believes, as she has said, that the Court allows "all Americans, regardless of their background or their beliefs, to get a fair hearing and an equal chance at justice," because the essence of "fair" is only that which is specified in that Constitution which the President disrespects.

Eatin' out

For Christmas, first born received a gift card to the Portuguese-themed restaurant in our pleasant little town. Free food being what it is, we broke our vow to ourselves and went to dinner.

I ordered the portobello mushroom with asparagus. Surprise! It was a pasta dish in white sauce. You may remember I criticized the bread on one of my previous two visits, but this time, it was warm (almost hot) and fresh. . . the best part of the meal. Who knew you could serve asparagus in any form but spears? Actually, I'm not sure what those green specks were.

Our waitress was pleasant and attentive, so we tipped her almost 20% over the gift. She shouldn't have to suffer because I didn't like the free food.

Cinco de Mayo

Today, Mexicans celebrate the occasion when, according to legend, three mestizos and a burro drove out several thousand crack French troops, who had endured a long ocean sail to back up an Austrian archduke in Mexico where they probably didn't really want to be. Incomplete research reveals that The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 2010, attributes the departure of the French mostly to "pressure from the U.S."

Congratulations

As you know, I seldom agree with Governor Schwartzenegger, but he has struck a stunning blow for freedom, personal responsibility and common sense by vetoing (CA) Senate Bill 4 which would have banned smoking at state-run beaches and parks. The Governor called it "improper intrusion of government into people's lives. (By) mandating in a state law that people may not smoke outdoors in certain areas, the bill crosses an important threshold between state power and command and local decision-making."

Unfortunately, he had to admit that cities and parks departments already have authority to ban smoking at specific sites. With so many restrictions on smoking, one wonders where the dopers will toke their weed, if enough fools vote to make marijuana legal in the upcoming election.

"Too much law make people mad."

Visit The Grand Canyon State (as published 5/7)

There are millions of illegal aliens in the United States. How many millions you choose to acknowledge depends upon which reporting agency you believe, and how many more have entered since the last count. They are all criminals, having violated federal law. As a result, most of them are living under the radar to evade detection. Some of them, however, have the nerve to complain about their situation. The failure of the federal government effectively to enforce the law has allowed some of these scofflaws to publically demonstrate against, and voice their objection to, the laws they are violating. Fortunately, they have no say on the topic, because they are not citizens.

Now, the State of Arizona has passed and amended legislation to authorize state and local police officials to enforce the same laws the federal government haven't. They have said that persons engaged in questionable activities may be required to verify their immigration status. This will surely include those who advocate for illegality, because they may already be engaged in such activity. Unfortunately, because millions are already criminals, some Hispanics may attract greater scrutiny, but there's no reason to suspect the police will be anything but completely professional. Should there be any doubt, I would be one of the first to object.

[GOOD RIDDANCE: I am pleased to announce that, after eight long years, the P BS televison show "Now" has ended its run of liberal propaganda and crybaby faux expressions of compassion. The people who inflicted it on America will now have to find real jobs. I'll bet President Obama needs some czars of their ilk. He can pay them with your increased taxes, and pretend their hiring comprises a significant reduction in unemployment.]

The May Pole

Soviets and strippers, rejoice!